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Sustained Investigation

Looking at fish charts, reading printer manuals, and sorting items in Minecraft are activities I enjoy because of the meditative qualities that come with organization. While I crave order, more often than not, my life is filled with chaos. Although seemingly opposite, my ideal (controlled) and real (messy) worlds both stem from the same trait---perfectionism. In my Sustained Investigation, I hope to answer the following questions:

How is my draw to methods of organization a manifestation of perfectionism? In what ways is perfectionism the catalyst for chaotic and unhealthy thought processes? 

The Bathypelagic

On my wall, I have a Hawaiian fish chart that I love looking at because of its calm color palette and straight-forward layout. I wanted to create my own rendition, highlighting the calming qualities of the chart by depicting the opposite. I chose to draw fish from the Bathypelagic, or Midnight, zone. Since it has no light, the zone

and its inhabitants are seen as scary. Instead of using muted colors, I opted for extremely vibrant ones to depict the fish with fangs. For the background, I used a Turbo depth map color palette to “shine a light” on the environment that is typically flooded with darkness.

The Hydrologic Cycle

I can remember staring at the water cycle diagrams in my third grade science class, captivated for the same reasons I love diagrams today---the calmness. As an ode to my love for organization as a child, I created my own version of a typical water cycle diagram in a more illustrative way. I included the Yosemite mountains and California’s golden poppies because in California, all stages of the water cycle are amplified. I wanted to experiment with materials, so I used aluminum cans and aluminum foil to create the body of the piece.

Pattern Recognition

Methods of organization, whether it be charts, diagrams, or simply how pens are organized on a desk, all stem from pattern recognition. Through research, I found out about fractals, which are infinitely complex patterns that are present in everyday life. I included three types of fractal-type patterns in my piece: examples of fractal patterns in real life through collage, fractals in Rorschach ink blots, and fractals in Pollock-inspired paint splatters. I want viewers to practice pattern recognition by making out their own patterns with this piece. 

Ulnar/Radial/Palmar

Inspired by blood vessels encapsulated in a block of resin at the Body Worlds Exhibit at The Tech Interactive in San Jose, I painted blood vessels in the hand encapsulated by glass. Seeing the blood vessels inside of the resin intrigued me because it offered a different view of what’s normally shown in anatomical charts. With this piece, I really wanted to push the boundaries of what’s typically considered a chart or diagram.

Procrastination

To many, I am known as a major procrastinator. I wondered what caused procrastination and found that it is a cycle that begins with perfectionism, fear of failure, procrastination, self-criticism, a greater fear of failure, and perfectionism again. The figures represent each step in the cycle, all falling towards the “void” of failure and longing for the light of self-acceptance. The melting lines are inspired by the Matrix promotional posters and show how procrastination distorts time. I included an 80s-style horizon grid since the aesthetic is associated with loss of time.